My Rule of Life

May 08, 2026

Several times in the past few years I’ve joined a group of men in some pretty rigorous periods of fasting and discipline. I’ve participated in Exodus 90 once or twice (I honestly can’t remember which), and we observed Saint Michael’s Lent through the same program — both of them were remarkable, though difficult, experiences. It’s the same with my regular Lenten fasts, too: They’re not easy, but they’re good.

Every time I get past the end of a fast, I realize how much I miss it. I don’t say that to make myself sound holier-than-thou (“Look how much I love fasting!”), only to admit that I’ve learned I need some sort of external discipline — I lack self-discipline, and I need the structure and order of the church’s spiritual practices to keep me on the right path. It’s not a pride thing; it’s an acknowledgment that I’m weak and, when left to my own devices, wayward.

So I put together a Rule of Life to guide my, well… my life. A lot of it is based on rhythms and disciplines tied to the church calendar, although I also tried to address my own particular circumstances, difficulties, weaknesses, and strengths.

Anyway, I thought it might be helpful to others if I share it. If you like what you see here, consider putting together your own Rule!

A few quick notes before getting to my Rule:

First, this is adapted from the Rule of Life and the Self-Examination found in the St. Bernard Breviary. I’m certain that much of the content comes directly from that text, and I don’t at all want to imply that everything here is original to me. Some of the sentences, especially in the sections on prayer, fasting, and feasting, are taken directly from the Breviary. (Related, I have adapted and used it entirely without permission; should the Anglican Liturgy Press object on grounds of copyright, I will gladly delete this post.)
Second, I consider this Rule to be aspirational, which is another way of saying that I’m not very good at keeping it. This articulates the way I want to live and the way I believe I should live — not the way I actually do live. Some days and weeks are better than others, but I don’t think I’ve ever finished a week and looked back to say, “Nailed it.” And I don’t expect I ever will.
Third, I’m also sharing this so the people in my life can hold me accountable to it. If you see me behaving or living in ways that violate my Rule, and especially if you see me doing so habitually or as part of a lifestyle pattern — please tell me! (This is especially true for those of you who know me IRL.)

My Rule of Life

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I WILL PRAY Morning Prayer and Evening Prayer at a set time Monday through Friday, and as possible on Saturday and Sunday. If for some reason I am prevented from praying the office at the established time, I will at least pray the appointed psalms or an abbreviated office as soon as I am able.

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HUNGRY FOR THE things of God, I will FAST according to the rhythms of the Church Year. In particular, I will fast from all food, not eating until the following morning, on:

Ash Wednesday and Good Friday

I will abstain from all food until 5 p.m. on:

All Wednesdays and Fridays of the year (excluding feast days and festal seasons)

And I will additionally restrict food in some way:

Daily during Lent, and especially during Holy Week
On Ember Days
As seems appropriate for dedicated times of discipline and prayer

I will never consume an inordinate amount of alcohol, such as hinders the ability to pray and remain watchful. Except on Sundays and feast days, I will not drink alone.

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I WILL FEAST on the Word of God by spending a minimum of 30 minutes in meditation on Holy Scripture at least once a week (in addition to the daily Scripture readings of the office). I also commit to the lifelong work of the Psalter: memorization and internalization through constant reading and recitation.

I will feast on the body and blood of Christ by celebrating the Eucharist at least twice monthly.

I will order my feasting at table according to the rhythms of the Church Year. In particular, I will keep the following feasts and their vigils with special solemnity and festivity:

Christmas, Epiphany, Easter, Ascension, Pentecost, Trinity Sunday, and All Saints’ Day

I will adopt a celebratory posture, forgoing abstention:

On all Sundays of the year
During the 12 days of Christmas and the Octave of Easter
On lesser feast days, provided they do not unduly interfere with periods of fasting and discipline
As seems appropriate for times of celebration and fellowship

I will lead my family in creating an atmosphere of hospitality, inviting others into our home for a meal at least once a month.

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AWARE OF MY natural tendency to live in an unordered manner, I will DISCIPLINE my life, with particular attention to my body, time, and finances.

I vigorously commit to the highest standard of sexual chastity in thought and deed. I will keep the marriage vow unto death.

Because staying healthy and fit is an act of charity toward those who depend on me, I will exercise at least four times a week.

Except when fasting or feasting, my regular diet will be moderate and temperate — neither excessively indulgent nor unnecessarily sparse (i.e., healthy food, modest helpings, no seconds, few snacks).

To resist distraction and the neglect of my duties, I will minimize social media and smartphone use.

I will make an honest effort to go to bed every night between 10:30 and 11:30 p.m., that I may be rested and alert for Morning Prayer and the demands of the day. Under no circumstance will I go to bed later than midnight.

I will honor every Sunday as a day of Sabbath rest. I will not put off until Sunday work that can be done during the week.

I will pursue financial responsibility by maintaining a healthy family budget, contributing to our savings and investments, and giving generously to the work of the Church and to those in need.

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I WILL TEND diligently to the roles, tasks, and responsibilities that God has assigned to me.

As a husband, I will treat my wife at all times with affection, gentleness, and care. I will lead her with tenderness, sacrificially seeking her good and the good of our family. I will not neglect to provide for her needs and reasonable wishes. I will take the initiative to schedule dates at least twice a month. And I commit to praying both with her and for her every day.

As a father, I will give my sons my time, attention, and affection. I will spend uninterrupted one-on-one time with each son every other week. For the rest of my life, I commit to encouraging them in their interests and pursuits, cheering for their accomplishments, and providing guidance, practical support, and Christian formation.

As a churchman, I will not neglect to attend weekly worship when able. I will serve my local congregation with my time, talents, and treasure. I will pray for and encourage my pastors. I will not be satisfied with religious routine rather than true worship, and I will never treat Christian objects in a superstitious way.

In my career, I will work industriously, arriving on time and performing my tasks with focus and productive discipline, not in a distracted or neglectful manner.

In my household, I will help make our home a place of safety, security, order, rest, and peace. I will assume the responsibilities of home maintenance and repair, and will unbegrudgingly help with household chores and domestic tasks.

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BECAUSE GOD IS the source of all truth, goodness, and beauty, I will LOVE what is TRUE, GOOD, and BEAUTIFUL.

I will hold to the Bible as the ultimate measure of truth to guide, guard, and form my faith and life. Where the Bible seems unclear, I will trust the voice of the historic Church for interpretation. I will not believe any doctrine contrary to the teaching of Christianity.

I will write, speak, and teach only what I believe to be true, and I will be especially mindful to speak truthfully when fear or cowardice tempt me to compromise. I will fear the opinion of God more than the opinions of men: So far as I am able, I will live not by lies.

Aware that loveless speech can tend toward cruelty, my truth-speaking will always be tempered by charity and intended for the good of others.

I will live with integrity, so that both my interior life and my public conduct truly match my profession of faith and do not bring shame or scandal to the name of Christ or his Church.

Within the reasonable limits of our budget, I will fill our home and our days with beautiful things: art, music, quality goods and craftsmanship, peace and order, laughter. Beauty will be a first-order priority — not an afterthought.

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CONVINCED THAT EVERY good gift comes from the hand of God and is intended for his glory and for our joy, I will ENJOY with enthusiasm the life God has given me.

I will not complain against God, who has blessed me far more than I deserve; and I will not neglect to thank God for what he has given.

I will strive to make the tenor of my life one of merriment; my demeanor will be conspicuously jovial. I will be joyful in all circumstances, for the joy of the Lord is my strength.

Even in seasons of stress or busyness, then, I will make time for the small pleasures that bring me joy: to read, write poetry, smoke pipes, drink beer, and fellowship with friends.

I will eat, drink, and be merry, for yesterday I was dead!

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I WILL EXAMINE my life according to this Rule regularly and will share my experience accountably with my Christian brothers.

I will habitually use the Daily Examen, confessing my sins to God, apologizing quickly and sincerely to those against whom I have sinned, and relentlessly pursuing repentance.

At least once a year, I will retreat overnight for undistracted prayer, Scripture, examination, repentance, and spiritual work, guided by: